Comfy

Today, I had the pleasure of meeting another widow blogger.  My Sainted Dead Husband was one of the first blogs I started visiting after Chris died.  I can't even remember how I stumbled upon it at this point but I am certainly glad I did.  


Irene McGoldrick's widow story has a lot of parallels to my own which made me return to her blog again and again.  Her husband, Bob, was diagnosed with Lymphoma when she was pregnant with their second child.  He died one year later and Irene was left with two small boys to raise.  That was six years ago and Irene is now remarried.  Her second husband, Mike, has three children of his own so together they run a very busy household.


Irene and Mike also read my blog and we comment back and forth to each other once in awhile.  I have come to "know" a lot of widows this way.  There are actually quite a few blogs and other online resources out there for people in this unenviable position.  I have met many in my community through these resources and have garnered a lot of encouragement from reading about their journeys.  So, I was extremely excited when Mike emailed me a few weeks ago to suggest that the three of us meet for lunch.  Irene lives in a suburb of Milwaukee so we are reasonably close geographically.  We picked a restaurant in between our homes and met today.


A warm embrace from each, followed by, "So, is this your first widow blind date?!" from Mike kicked off our time together.  We spent the next two hours talking about the circumstances of our husbands' deaths, our support systems, our kids, Irene's remarriage, and her memoir about Bob and their life together which will be published at the end of August.  I have to say, there is something about talking to someone else who has also lost the love of their life that is so...comfy (sorry, Irene, to imply that your life experiences make me feel good!).  


What I mean is that there is no pretense in meeting with such a person for the first time.  You can right skip over the traditional niceties of a "first date" and slip right into the messy details of life.  There is a shared vocabulary, shared emotions, and shared fears and concerns.  You can discuss things you might never discuss with others who haven't walked this road.  It can be quite like talking to one of your best friends.  It is just...comfy!  And trust me, I look for comfy wherever I can get it these days!  


Thanks, Irene and Mike, for a lovely lunch.  I'd say I look forward to getting comfy with you guys again soon but that would just sound weird!