I'm pissed.
I'm pissed that Chris is dead.
I'm pissed that he barely got to know his kids and that they'll never know him.
I'm pissed that I have to make all the decisions now.
I'm pissed that I lost my gourmet cook, my gardener and my wine expert.
I'm pissed that I still have so many questions I want to ask him.
I'm pissed that he'll never beat me at Trivial Pursuit again (because he did every time).
I'm pissed that the only ones sharing my bed these days are a middle aged cat who snores and a clingy almost three year old.
I'm pissed that I don't have a hand to hold when watching a rented movie.
I'm pissed that I may go through the rest of this life without a partner.
I'm pissed that my mom is moving in with us (happy that she is willing to come but pissed that I need her to).
I'm pissed that I have to renovate a basement that wouldn't need renovating if Chris were alive.
I'm pissed that I don't have a clue about buying paint supplies for said renovation and the person who could advise me can't take phone calls where he is at.
I'm pissed that Chris is dead.
Did I mention that I'm....PISSED?!
Ahhhh...that feels better.
P.S. And isn't that an incredible likeness of me above?
yup.
ReplyDeleteThe language inside my head has turned massively foul.... for a person who did not swear, or did so very very rarely, and never Near Others. And then I feel awful, having had my adjectives turn so foul. Though they wouldn't have if he were still here....
And then that language starts again.
I wish you'd had nothing to incite Pissed Off-edness. Some things are just wrong.
Wendy,
ReplyDeleteYou have to see a little red before the colors can start to soften.
Looking forward to lunch next week. I hope you will be in the pink.
Keep feeling-
Irene
Wendy Sue -
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and be pissed -- can't say I blame you one bit. And the picture looked so much like you that when I first saw it, I thought "I need to ask Wendy if someone drew that for her".
Hang in there.
Love,
Julie C.
Sorry, Wendy, some days are like that. (Garbage cans are good for screaming into). (And stomping, too. Except then the kids start doing it). Sounds like you've got some good friends tho. Hang in there, life's full of surprises and good stuff, too. You're going to make it.
ReplyDeleteOh Wendy, I feel exactly the same way. It's not fair that our husbands are gone and there are all those things we *need* them around us for.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Wendy, I feel your pain, anger, and confusion. Our daughter died just prior to giving birth one year ago tomorrow. Her baby Leilah died as well. My head still spins. I did not think these things happened anymore. We are all in a club that we never thought we would belong to. I know that it does not help much, but you are not alone.
ReplyDelete