"You've Really Got Your Hands Full!"

This is what other moms say to me when they first meet me and the kids, especially when they find out that Ian is two and Claire is eight months old. Usually, my first thought is to respond with, "Thanks for stating the obvious" followed quickly by, "You don't know the half of it." Of course, I just say, "Yep, it's busy." Imagine me shocking some poor unsuspecting mother by announcing that my husband is also dead. That's a sure fire way to make friends. Anyway, I got this reaction for the umpteenth time today at the park and I think it was foreshadowing of how the rest of my day was going to go.

Knowing that I was going to handle bedtime all by myself tonight (a rare occurrence), I probably over stayed our welcome at the park. Upon finally loading the kids into the car to leave, I did what any mom who is feeling tired and lazy would do. I suggested we pick up McDonald's for dinner. Ian was not surprisingly quick to say, "yesshh" to this idea so off we went. 

At the drive thru, I ordered a happy meal with chicken nuggets, apples and white milk. The person taking my order was careful to find out if the happy meal was for a girl or a boy so the right toy could be included. No sooner did we get our order and pull out of the parking lot than Claire started to cry. Not just any ordinary cry but big time, over the top wailing. She clearly did not appreciate the fine dining we had in mind. She screamed for what seemed like an hour but in reality was merely a ten minute ride home. After awhile, Ian also started sobbing and whining, "Baby!  No cry!" By the time we pulled into our driveway, both kids were in hysterics and I was cursing under my breath about how I possibly could have thought going to McDonald's was a good idea.

I lugged both screaming kids into the house and threw dinner on the coffee table. Claire was on my lap finally settling down and Ian stood by the couch sobbing. He didn't want to get on the couch unless I put "baby" on the "foor". That clearly wasn't an option so he just continued to scream. Finally, I said, "Let's look at your toy from McDonald's!" I opened the bag and what do you know? No toy!  After I was specifically asked if I needed a boy or a girl toy! To try to do damage control, I quickly suggested going into the kitchen to eat the nuggets. I stuck Claire in the highchair prompting a new round of screaming and waited for Ian to follow. No Ian. Still crying by the couch. I finally picked him up and plopped him in his chair at the table, opened the McDonald's bag again and pulled out his...cheeseburger?!?!?! AAAAHHHH!!! Are the fast food gods conspiring against me?! That McDonald's is darn lucky I was too exhausted tonight to look up their number, call them and give them a piece of my mind.

Just when I thought dinner couldn't get any less nutritional than chicken nuggets, Ian's final meal consisted of five cookies and Claire's included about twenty Gerber cheetos and three spoonfuls of baby food.  Guess who ate the cheeseburger?  Yum yum! Somehow I managed to put both of them to bed pretty close to their normal bedtimes and without enduring any further crying (at least by them).  

Tonight, as I sit at my computer after getting the kids to bed, I can whole heartedly agree that I have my hands full. Yet, I wouldn't want it any other way. And neither would Chris. We wanted our kids to be close in age and we also knew we were working against a ticking biological clock. Of course, neither of us banked on him not being here and only having one set of hands to fill up. But since he isn't here, I have to enjoy them for the both of us and I do.  I really do.

This is us without you, Chris. We still miss you.

P.S.  As the above story is just one example of our daily lives, I decided to hire a nanny one day per week. Marta is a wonderful woman from Poland who has a lot of child care experience. She is at my house for the entire day on Tuesdays so I can run errands, meet friends for lunch, get my haircut, etc. She started a few weeks ago and we all love her. I just hope she feels the same way as we do because she is definitely helping me stay sane!