Daddy Clothes

There is a particular variety of children's clothing that I ignore. I don't do it very successfully but I try anyway because it stings too much. I call this clothing, "Daddy Clothes" and it is all the adorable shirts and onesies that say things like:

     Daddy's LIttle Helper

          My Heart Belongs to Daddy

               Daddy's Angel

                    If You Think I'm Cute, You Should See My Daddy 

Today, I was confronted with Daddy Clothes for what feels like the 1,000th time since Chris has died. I am never prepared for this type of assault (a strong word to describe the experience but, oh, so appropriate). No matter how many times I see clothing of this type, it hurts just as much as it did when I opened a baby gift for Claire right after Chris died that said, "Daddy's Girl" on it. The person who gave it to her probably bought it before we knew Chris was sick and didn't think to remove it from the package. And, thinking about it now, should they really have removed it? Claire is Chris's little girl. Nothing can change that. Still, that sweet, tiny, size 0-3 month onesie felt like a two ton dose of reality in my hands. Its simple and charming message taunted me....and continues to do so.

I saw some adorable little boy pajamas today with diggers on the pants. I excitedly began looking for Ian's size because I knew getting him these pajamas would make his day (he LOVES diggers). As I rummaged through the pile, I realized that the top of the pajamas said, "Daddy's LIttle Helper." My heart sank and I walked away from the latest version of Daddy Clothes...again.

Maybe someday I'll be able to see the kids in this type of clothing.  But for now, I just can't do it.  Pajamas with monkeys on them will have to do.